


The Wound Deepens

by sonicsora



Category: Brütal Legend
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Injury Recovery, Rape, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Trauma, non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:32:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonicsora/pseuds/sonicsora
Summary: A sequel to my friend Cell's fantastic fanfic.Eddie does what he can to put the pieces back together. He finds out it's not quite as easy as he hoped it would be. The hurt runs deeper than he ever wanted it to.Eddie struggles to find his sense of self again and some semblance of safety now that it's been taken away from him. Ironheade needs The Roadie, not Eddie Riggs the cry baby as far as he's concerned.





	The Wound Deepens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cell0113](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cell0113/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Betrayal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038684) by [Cell0113](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cell0113/pseuds/Cell0113). 



> As stated in the summary, this is 100% a sequel to my friend's fantastic fanfic. I've linked to it via her tumblr, but she'll have it up on AO3 in the near future!

The worst part was the fact things just, went on. Things kept moving forward though he felt like his world had crumbled into itself. Ironheade retreated, Ironheade regrouped, injuries were mended, heads were counted, those lost were mourned.

They needed him. They needed him to be stable.

Eddie kept moving, stumbling here and there as he kept going, though all he really wanted to do for a while was curl into a tight ball and scream until his voice was hoarse. He hurt in ways he was having a hard time pinning down into words. He had to move, he had to live even if he wasn’t quite sure if he could fit into what he was before.

He could feel Lita’s gaze on his back as he hunched over his car’s engine. It took effort not to stand up straight and defensively. He knew Lita was safe, that all his friends wouldn’t attack him- but the panic was a sharp edge in his chest that made everything feel unstable and rocky. The almost tangible ‘what ifs’ felt the worst. New paranoia was not something Eddie liked. He wanted to trust them, he knew he could, but the discomfort was too strong sometimes.

Sweat clung to his brow, making his hair stick and salt drip down his face. He sat up a little, wiping at his face with a low exhale. He looked over at the woman, offering her a thin smile in turn. “Lita.”

“Eddie.” She nodded, taking a step closer but not invading his personal space bubble The relief of that much made Eddie physically sag into his car. His grip loosening at the edge of the Druid Plow’s open engine. He hadn’t quite realized how tightly he had been holding onto the Duce until that moment. He flexed his fingers idly, trying to play casual. “You’ve been working for quite a bit. Maybe take a break.” She hesitated before producing a bottle of beer, moving to carefully set it down on the car within Eddie’s reach.

He offered her a warmer smile at that, “Thanks.”

“You need to take it a little easier.” She rubbed at her arm uncertainly before continuing. “You’ve been pushing yourself harder than you need to.”

“I gotta keep us movin’, Lita.” He uncapped his drink as he spoke, flicking the bottle cap off to the side. “We’re in Doom territory now, if we stick around too long things won’t be pretty.”

The blonde sighed a little at that, “I’m fully aware. I just know you haven’t been, up to par.” This was the simplest way she could bring up the unspoken weight Eddie seemed to be carrying. Eddie could see that much on her face. He hadn’t exactly found a way to really… explain. He didn’t really _want_ to. He already had a rough idea of how people back home would react, he didn’t want to know if Ironheade- his friends would have the same reaction.

He didn’t want their laughter widening the crack opening up in his chest.

“I’ll… try.” He wanted to promise, to lie- but he couldn’t even fathom that much.

“Eddie,” She stepped forward, cautiously, carefully, measuring her steps. For once Lita did not charge into things, blade brandished in hand. She treaded carefully in a way Eddie would admire any other time. Now he wondered if it was pity. “I- we’re all here for you.”

“I know.” His grip tightened on the bottle, making the beer slosh around inside. “I know.”

———

He draped his arm over his face, exhaling slowly. At some point he started shaking and couldn’t stop. Eddie choked a little, managing to quell the raging wave of nausea rolling through him by dragging his blanket over his body.

 _”Does it make you feel like a man, Eddie?”_ He could feel her laughter echoing in his head even now. Her weight felt so tangible on top of him he had to sit up fully. His arm dropped away as he stared out over the mess that was his tent.

 _“Now you understand, Eddie. You know why.”_ Her breath was hot against his ear, sending panicked chills through the roadie. He couldn’t stop the shaking. He hunched into himself trying to slow his breathing. He scrubbed at his face desperately, hurting himself somewhat in the process.

“Fuck.” He covered his face with his hands. Rubbing at his eyes initially before dragging his hands down his face roughly. 

“Fuck!” He whipped back around to grab his fur pelt pillow and throw it across the tent roughly. The collision made the tent wobble slightly.

“God damn it!” He kicked off his blankets, yanking his pants fully up over his hips. “Fuck, fuck-“ He staggered across his tent, finding his shoes after some searching. Once he had a shirt on he stepped out into the early morning towards where he parked the Druid Plow.

He leapt over the drivers side door, settling down in the seat, cranking on the engine. The familiar rumble and faint heavy metal playing from the radio did a fair job of making the brittle feeling in his chest soften. He could breath again.

He gently placed his forehead against the steering wheel, eyes sliding shut as he held onto the bottom of the wheel. Eddie wasn’t quite sure how long he really sat there in the drivers seat like that, just taking in comfort from his car. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on the worn leather against his calloused palms, and forehead. At some point he dropped off into a doze, feeling safer in a car than laying down.

“Boss?”

He jerked back, blearily blinking at Mangus staring at him from the passengers side of the car. He couldn’t quite find his voice, simply opening and closing his mouth.

“Boss, you okay?”

“No.” He croaked back, reaching out almost automatically to turn the engine off. “What time is it?”

“Like- late morning. Nearly 11am.” The worry written on Mangus’ face only grew more intense as Eddie slouched back into his seat. “Boss, how long have you been out here?”

“Dunno.” That much was true, it felt like 3am when he came out here. How did so much time pass? Eddie rubbed at his eyes blearily trying to actively wake up finding it hard to stay focused.

“Do you wanna rest in your tent?”

“Not really.”

“Gonna have to veto that.” Mangus walked around the front of the Druid Plow to the drivers side. “You need sleep. Bad.”

“I’m fine.”

“Nope, you just said you weren’t. No take backs.” Eddie groaned a little at that, relenting as Mangus opened the door for him. Eddie slowly sat up, lurching out of the car.

“At least an hour, man. Please?”

“Alright- okay.”

Mangus shuttled Eddie back towards his tent, ushering the man back to his bed. “Sleep, Eddie. You kinda need it.”

“I look that bad?” He joked weakly back, managing a thin kind of smile.

The other man winced a little, his smile was more of a grimace. “Worse.”

The next week turned into Mangus walking Eddie from his car back to his tent every afternoon, making sure the roadie had some semblance of sleep. It wasn’t long before the rest of Ironheade caught onto what was happening.

When Eddie was more awake guilt hung heavily around his neck. He was supposed to take care of them, not the other way round.

——

“Good news is your lung is back to working normally enough.” Kill Master stated simply back, flicking ash from his cigarette off to the side uncaring of where it landed. “Injury has healed over completely. Same for your wings, they’re good as I can get ‘em.”

“Which is pretty damn good. I know you’re able to heal anythin’ KM. Best healer around.” Eddie offered with a smile, trying to play upbeat. So far he managed to make some of the worry in camp abate with just a big smile and bright reassurances. Ironheade needed The Roadie. They didn’t need Eddie Riggs the cry baby.

Kill Master snorted a little at the display, “Don’t try that act with me, Riggs.” He brought his cigarette back to his lips, sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.

“I know you’re trying to play fine, but I see you ain’t.” He took a slow drag, mulling over his words. Eddie’s heart sank at the realization Kill Master saw through him so easily. “You don’t have to tell me what happened until you’re ready. I’m getting the idea you need the time.”

His smile dropped, his expression something unhappy. “I dunno if- I dunno if I wanna talk.”

“You’re gonna have to. Whatever it is, it’s eating you up inside. I ain’t gonna say shit to anyone else, Eddie. You know that.”

“Yeah…” He rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze slid downwards, onto his lap. His free hand was clutching at his knee nervously at this point. Some part of him wanted to just say it, another part was struggling against openly even dwelling on it more than he already was. “I- you, I dunno how to say it.”

“Take your time. I’m all yours.” Kill Master sat down across from him heavily. “I’m here.” Kill Master’s hand gently settled over Eddie’s own clutching at his knee. The comfort is what made the hesitation drift away. 

When the words came, the spilled out one after another, sometimes more than incoherently. Kill Master didn’t interrupt, simply listening to Eddie talk. He would only give Eddie’s hand a soft squeeze here and there when words would catch in the larger man’s throat.

Before long the smaller man had wrapped Eddie into a gentle hug. The half demon found himself desperately holding on, crying for the first time since they found him two weeks ago.

——

He chucked a bottle aside as he sunk into the ground heavily, feeling boneless as he stared up at the sky. Eddie wished he knew something about astronomy or astrology bullshit so he could figure out where things were. He vaguely could guess where the big and little dipper were before. Now everything was a crap shoot. 

“I think if you keep this up you’ll drink the beer tree dry.”

Eddie cut his gaze tiredly to The Fire Baron. “I will suck it fuckin’ dry if I gotta.” He slurred tiredly back. He smacked his chest as he dramatically proclaimed. “It’s gotta keep up with me!”

The other man laughed at that, sinking down near Eddie now. The shirtless man grinned at his friend, more than happy to joke around with him. Eddie was drunk enough his new found hesitance was drifting away. “Now that’s a way to fucking live.”

“I like to live wildly.” Eddie gave a sloppy finger finger gun, nearly hitting himself in the face. “Fuck livin’ safe, what would that do for me?”

“Damn right. Ya gotta live real fucking wild!” Fire Baron nudged the last beer bottle away from Eddie subtly whilst the drunk man started rambling mostly to himself about space. Fire Baron had no idea what the hell Eddie was on about, but listened. He would offer an encouraging sounds or nod when Eddie needed it. 

——

_“Come on, Eddie, let me hear it. I want your tears for my sea.” He struggled against her, breathing hard and fast as panic rattled through his body. The wet sounds of Ophelia moving on his shaft only made his body seize up further. He could feel the loose gravel dig into the exposed skin on his lower back._

_He couldn’t find his voice. He couldn’t struggle. She was pressing down on him, driving broken edges into his chest. Glass piercing his skin, lancing through everything in its path. All the jagged edges buried themselves in his skin._

_”Look at you, pathetic-“ She laughed breathlessly down at him, “Do you finally understand how I feel, Eddie?” Her fingernails dug into his cheek, drawing blood._

He whined softly, shaking as he woke up. The heaviness of a hangover settled more soundly over him in place of Ophelia’s looming presence. The memory of the heat of her body and rage drifted off as he rubbed at his face.

Eddie wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or not. He simply covered his face with a pillow, bonelessly laying in his bed. Even with the awful hangover he would find Fire Baron and do it all over again tonight.

The numbness was worth the possible vomit factory he would become in the morning. Anything was better than the tumulus feelings living inside of him now. 

——

Word never really got out per say, but Eddie found himself able to say something to one or two people. Mangus was the second after Kill Master. The grim transformation that swept over his face was strange, almost kind of scary in a way. The affable engineer’s teeth set on edge, shoulders taking on a dangerous tension Eddie wasn’t sure what to think of. Mangus simply placed a hand against Eddie’s shoulder.

Lita was no better, her hands shook at her sides and a snarl erupted across her face. No plans of revenge escaped her lips, no vows of death or dramatic response. She breathed out slowly and offered comfort.

Eddie could guess telling the two of them was the reason his battle entourage suddenly grew. Before all of this- he would have been annoyed by it. He would have insisted he didn’t need people to follow after him. Before felt very far away now. 

Now, now he was relieved. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t want that chance.

Lita would stay within sight, a flash of black, blonde and red in the corner of his eye. Kill Master’s bike would be rolling near enough Eddie could feel his spirits lift. Fire Baron’s laughter and the smell of smoke was close enough Eddie was fairly sure the man was firebombing any undead who got _too_ close. 

Ophelia never got all that close without threat of serious injury. He could catch her snarls and disapproval as she tried to cut through the crowd to no avail. Seeing Ophelia alone only made his anxiety spike, the jagged edges widen in a way he couldn’t let show when in battle. Ironheade needed The Roadie out here. 

When he was Eddie Riggs, he could let go. As The Roadie, he needed to protect Ironheade. What he was learning though was the fact Ironheade returned the favor in kind. Ironheade would protect Eddie Riggs, the person.

The war across the landscape goes slow, but Eddie starts to relax again. Relax under the protective shield of his friends. The two months of war gives him time to slowly mend. The edge never goes away completely, but it softens. It only digs in when he _sees_ her. He's never alone with her again. His friends follow him up that stairwell, they see Doviculus face to face with him. 

They're only parted when he falls into the sea. Fear written across their faces as Eddie finds himself sinking. 

— 

He gagged on the black water, wheezing as he managed to spit most of it up. He squirmed away from the other body next to him. Touching Ophelia that much already made his skin crawl desperately. Being this close only made his stomach lurch uncomfortably. For more reasons than one.

The woman blinked dazedly next to him, coughing on water as she turned away from him. The brunette was either oblivious or more focused on catching her breath than what he was doing.

The chorus of several voices rang out calling the roadie’s name, shortly followed by a rush of people. Lita leading the charge, panic written across her features. Mangus was no better in that regard.

“Boss!” “Eddie!”

“M’good.” He gave a weak thumbs up, awkwardly sitting up. The feeling of his mother’s necklace pendant dug into the palm of his other hand. “I just need some non-depression water or beer.”

Mangus and Lita both offered their hands out to Eddie. He gladly accepted the proffered hands, stumbling onto his feet. Protective arms slung around him, already creating a shield. He turned around to face Ophelia. With some hesitance he offered his hand out.

“Here.” She accepted his hand, expression uncertain as she regained her footing. She bit her lip “Eddie…”

“I- not now.” He quickly released her hand, stepping back. Mangus stepped forward surprising all of them. There is a defensive edge to how he stands between Ophelia and Eddie. “Maybe- you, head to the bus okay?”

Ophelia glanced at Eddie before meeting Mangus’ eyes. She wilts slightly. “…Right.”

“Make sure no one bothers her.” Eddie stated simply back, turning his back on Ophelia. Only now with them does he feel safe enough to take his eyes off of Ophelia at all. Kill Master is already approaching their group, at his heels is Fire Baron. “Alright?”

“Yeah, course, Boss.”

Once Kill Master arrives, Eddie gets the lecture of a lifetime and the roadie finds himself smiling a little at the fussing.

—

“We aren’t drivin’ her out.” Eddie states simply, “End of discussion.”

“We sure as fuck are.” Mangus’ anger is what surprises Eddie the most out of anyone gathered together around him. Fire Baron looks mildly lost, but isn’t opening his mouth to question the situation. “I- I don’t want you to get hurt, boss!”

“We’re the only human settlement around, Mangus. Us drivin’ her away is what started this.” Some part of Eddie wondered if this was his fault in the first place. He could have avoided this war, avoided this hurt. “She can stay. I’ll just keep my distance.”

“You can’t just leave, Eddie.” Lita is more desperate, worried. Eddie is surprised at how okay he is with Lita close to him like this. Two months ago and he would have started spiraling into a panic.

“I’m not leavin’ forever. Just a little while.” He rubbed at his cheek tiredly. “I’m a wreck.”

“It’s why you should be here.” Mangus and Lita both trip over variations of that sentence, sharing a surprised look before Lita continues. “We need you.”

“The war is over. You guys don’t really need me. I’m not exactly useful now.”

“Eddie. Shut the fuck up.” Fire Baron finally speaking startles the group into silence. “I don’t give a shit if you’re useful or whatever, you’re still our friend, fucking idiot.”

“You’ve helped us so much, you deserve help too. Let us help you.” Lita states passionately, stomping a heeled foot in frustration.

“Yeah!”

“Deal with it, Riggs.”

Eddie starts tearing up and has to wipe at his face somewhat embarrassed. “Fuck, you guys…”

“Again, deal with it.” Kill Master states dryly, rubbing Eddie’s arm gently. “I see your point about Ophelia. I ain’t thrilled, but- if any of us try to push her out you’ll probably make a big stink about it.” His gaze cuts back to Ophelia sitting amongst the Razor Girls by the bus. The women were slowly warming back up to her. It was a rocky return for Ophelia at this point. Those who don't harbor a grudge are making vague conversation from the sounds of it.

“I will.” He confirmed with a soft laugh. “I just- I don’t want to throw her out, no matter how easy that is.”

“I wish you would be more angry about this.” Lita scowls sharply back, clearly unhappy with how the situation is unfolding. Mangus doesn’t look all that thrilled either at this point.

“I’m more tired than angry. Being angry isn’t gonna make this shit any easier anyway.”

——

Ophelia’s transition back into Ironheade is rough. Eddie stays out of her way completely. He focuses on rebuilding cars, maintaining lines to to and from the beer tree, he goes on ambushes- he does everything _but_ interact with Ophelia.

He ignores her presence but encourages everyone to be kind. The Razor Girls are the ones who broach the return warily, but eventually take Ophelia back into the fold, others soon follow suit. Even then, old wounds heal slowly. Very slowly.

One day he sees her settled on a rock on an overlook. He hesitates before walking up the hill as the sun starts to crest over the mountains.

It could almost be romantic, if he didn’t absolutely want nothing to do with Ophelia. He comes to a stop a few feet away. It takes Ophelia a moment to notice his approach.

“Eddie-“ She sits up, almost rising before settling back down. She's just as nervous as he is apparently. “I- hey?”

“Hey.” He greets awkwardly. Why the hell did he come up here? Every reason he has in his mind doesn't fit with what he's feeling now. “I haven’t forgiven you.”

“You shouldn’t.” She agrees weakly in turn, her gaze dropping to her feet. “You really shouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry- about everythin’ else.” He manages, “I should have listened to you, like I promised.”

“Thanks.” Her gaze doesn’t leave the ground. This is the first time they’ve really talked alone at all. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry-“ Her breath hitches, her hands shake in her lap.

Eddie takes an uncertain step back, putting distance between them. “Okay.” He doesn’t accept the apology or comfort. “I- give me time.”

“Okay.” She chokes out. “Okay.”

“Bye.” He sucks in a breath, turning to leave the way he came. He can feel her gaze on his back as he heads back towards his car. He only feels safe when he’s seated in the driver’s seat. Eddie knows implicitly, he’ll never love Ophelia again. He wants to mourn the loss of that feeling but keeps coming up empty.


End file.
